Before having Catherine, I was a preschool teacher (I love children). I also was very involved in church activities an possessed a entrepreneurial spirit. Attending college, creating a business and even organizing a young adult conference, I was and still remain a driven and passionate person. However, once Catherine was born, I made the decision to slow down and stay home. This decision was not met with enthusiasm by all. While my husband was very supportive, my sister and other family members let me know they were not pleased with my decision. It was as if becoming a stay-at-home mom would make me less smart.
Historically, black women do not stay at home. This made my decision to stay-at-home even more isolating and frowned upon. I read a article that states black women are half as likely as white women to stay at home with their children. I believe this is due to social and economic challenges that have plagued the African American Community. Many African American mothers simply did not have a choice. They had to go to work to support there families.
My mother was unable to stay at home with my siblings and I. Working as a professional educator and counselor for over 32 years, she helped support our family financially. I am forever grateful for my mother and all of the sacrifices she made for me to have a better life.
I chose to become a stay-at-mom because I wanted to focus on my family. I want to be my child's first teacher and ensure that she has all of the skills and tools she needs to make it in this often crazy world. Financially, I had the option to stay at home and I encourage those who do to consider it.
I don't want to start the mommy wars or race wars. I want to start a discussion that ultimately uplifts motherhood. One that shows young women they can be educated, passionate, and talented and make a huge mark on the world working in or outside the home.
Each month I plan to discuss the issues of being a stay-at-home mom from the African American perspective in the Motherhood Chronicles. I hope you follow and join the discussion.
that is interesting that black moms don't stay at home as often as white moms do!
ReplyDeleteDara, it is interesting! I am hoping through my new series, the motherhood chronicles, I can bring awareness to this issue. I think many African American mothers don't have an option to stay-at-home, but for those who do, it is often not considered.
DeleteIt's interesting to read your take on this topic. My best friend Nicole (at http://www.pharr-away.com/) blogs about this exact same thing. Her story was my first encounter with a black stay-at-home mom. You guys should link up!!
ReplyDeleteIt's been my dream, since I was young, to be a wife and mom. I have not yet had the opportunity for either, but I know God has a plan for me! And even though I play neither of those roles yet, I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mom (if possible). I've never felt comfortable sharing this with people because it's frowned upon. On top of that, I'm a very successful educated black woman, which makes the fact that I would give up my job in a heartbeat, if I could have my dream, even more frowned upon! I will definitely be keeping up with your Motherhood Chronicle!
Mionna, it is good to meet you. I know Nicole from pharr-away. She has been a blessing to me. I've only been blogging for a little over a month and she has been a mentor. I stumbled across her page two days after I mad my first post I believe it was a divine contact.
DeleteI am glad to hear about your dreams of motherhood and I hope that my little blog will uplift motherhood in our community. I do believe the more our young women see positive models of educated women intentionally using there gifts and talents to raise our children, the more it will be accepted.
Please continue to follow and share the discussions in the motherhood chronicles.
Obviously, I'm not black, but my son is half black & his grandmother on his dad's side stayed home with 4 kids. She didn't work while the kids were young either. Daycare costs alone would've been outrageous with 4 children, so her THAN husband worked, and she stayed home with the little ones until they were divorced some years later.
ReplyDeleteYou're right though, you don't typically hear or see African American women being stay at home mothers. I'm sure there are plenty of women (black or not) who would love to be with their children, but circumstances make it next to impossible. I've been blessed to stay at my parents and go to school and raise Dominic for the past couple years since his dad decided to bounce on me right before he was born (still in Dom's life). However, I'll be graduating in May and once again I'll have to work. I am praying God helps me find a good daycare where he can thrive and grow whilst I'm working.
I'm being long winded (sorry!). I think it's wonderful that you are staying home with your daughter. You may have drive and talents in other things, but in this season, you are doing what you feel/know is best for your family. If God wants you to utilize your gifts in other areas later on, I'm positive He will let you know, in that season.